There was a certain stillness there,

not in the wild around me or the gushing river,

but deep inside where I had never been.

 

Like the settling surface of a pond after the ripples have faded and died,

I could see the reflection of my soul in the undisturbed mirror.

It looked not as I thought it would, it was clearer.

It stared back with an intensity I did not know I contained.

The sepulchral gaze made my bones chill

and my flesh fade away.

 

It had no definition besides the dark eyes that composed it,

three circular orbs of swirling black light that gave way to infinite tunnels.

Each one locked me in place,

filling me with fear that weighed heavier than concrete or lead.

For a moment, I thought I was dead and

had ascended to some place in the heavens…

or far into hell.

 

I could not tell if my soul looked at me or I at it,

but there was an understanding that could not be denied.

Standing on the thin ice of a newfound realization sent me through its paper surface,

and the death cold Ego that surrounded me filled my lungs.

 

It choked me

Cradled me

Soothed my deepest anxieties like a mother does her child.

 

Ultimately,

without meaning to,

it woke me up to the world around me.

 

Sitting in the stream, water rushing by on both sides,

this stillness was born.

I feel like a dead man walking in a living man’s dream,

Reading a map without symbols or lines,

Lost forever

In a void

 

Unheard

Unseen